Standing Firm

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. [1 Corinthians 16:13]

Biblical TeachingsPodcast EpisodeYou Are Who God Says You Are

God’s Precious Gems

Cathy

And so, dear [brothers and] sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. [Romans 12:1].

QUOTE: I’m not single, I’m not taken, I am on reserve for the one that deserves my heart (anonymous).

This chapter is dedicated to all my single awesome girlfriends, God’s precious gems. I believe there is an entirely different level of harassment from the enemy that a single woman must recognize and fight. We not only have to deal with the enemy’s lies about life in general, but we also need to deal with lies about us not being worthy because we are single.

I believe that God created us to have relationships and to be with one special person within the context of marriage. The lines are a bit blurred in our society on what the Lord intended a marriage relationship to look like. But I believe that marriage is still a sacred union between one man and one woman. I also know there are many women who deeply desire to have that one person to share their lives with. I also understand and am empathic that it is very painful for some to not have that relationship, which in turn causes loneliness, and possibly feelings of insecurity and unworthiness. If you feel that way, this chapter is for you girlfriend.

I personally have been through every struggle and frustration that a single woman can go through and then some. Unfortunately, have made almost every mistake there is to be made as a single woman that loves the Lord. I also have had more heartaches over men than I wish to count. However, because I have been single forever, I also have some valuable lessons to share.

What I share may not be warm and fuzzy but I share out of love for my single sisters. Also note that I am not bashing men, because trust me, I love men, sometimes too much!!! So, don’t think for a minute that men don’t have value because they most certainly do. THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND BELIEVING YOU HAVE VALUE WITH OR WITHOUT A MAN.

There are six foundations of being single that I would like to share.

6 STELLAR SINGLE FOUNDATIONS

GIFT FROM GOD: Sometimes you may need a gentle reminder of some of the good things about being single. Being single whether it is for a season or a lifetime, is a gift from God (keep this book in your hand, no throwing allowed). If you are not married or currently in a relationship, you are called to be single at that moment. May I encourage to embrace this wonderful season and take hold of everything God is showing you during this time. This can be a gift of time, self-exploration, and deep discovery if you will allow yourself to think that way.

VISION AND PURPOSE: I’m speaking to those of you that make loneliness and self-pity a lifestyle, again, no book-throwing because YOU need to hear this. There is a difference of having a season of loneliness due to certain circumstances in your life but making it a habitual daily occurrence and lifestyle is NOT acceptable, because you are the child of God Almighty. STOP IT. Just because you currently don’t have a man in your life doesn’t mean you don’t have value or worth, because that is a lie from the pit of hell. Take hold of your God given vision and divine purpose and make good use of your time, talents, and wonderful abilities.

YOU ARE WHOLE: Something associated with marriage bothers me, it is this concept of a better half. Seriously, I do not see any Scripture that say when you become married you become a half. Remember, girlfriends, you are not half of a woman at any time; you are always a whole woman. Don’t be deceived that you need a man to complete you. You are a WHOLE woman, complete, made by the hand of God, and perfect as a single woman. I do not mean that you will never make mistakes perfect. But as a single woman, you are perfect being single, you are whole, and you don’t need a man to make you more than Who God Says You Are.

GOD CONNECTION: as a single woman you have an amazing opportunity to develop a very deep intimate relationship with the Lord. You don’t have someone needing your time and attention at all hours of the day and night. You can stay up all night or get up early to spend time in God’s Word and nurture that relationship. You don’t have to balance your time and interests between your husband and God. You can choose to make God your priority. Those of you ladies that have children or others to care for, this includes you. The point I’m trying to make here, is as a single woman, we can choose to focus more on Jesus, since we don’t have a husband to tend to.

PROTECT YOUR HEART: Know Who God Says You Are so that you are not so desperate that you get fooled by a good-looking man that says all the right words; but is blowing hot air. Be aware and don’t ignore those little red flags when starting out in a new relationship. Don’t make excuses for behavior that does not feel right to you. My dear sisters, please do not continue to stay in an unmarried bad relationship because you are lonely or scared to be alone. Listen to the Spirit of the Lord and make wise choices with your male relationships based on Who God Says You Are!

PROTECT YOUR TREASURES: Ok ladies, we will have to meet again in another book because there is so much more that I can share about being a Godly single woman. But this sixth issue is critical enough to mention now. This is something I personally have struggled with, fallen, backslid, and grieved God with. Yep, it’s the issue of having sex outside of the marriage covenant. I believe that God’s Word is very clear that we are to honor our bodies and keep this sacred intimate closeness within the boundaries of marriage to a man. Trust me I know it is not an easy hike to take, remember I told you I really liked men, yep sure do! This is all that will be said on this issue for now, without making this chapter into an entire book. Protect your treasures!!

GOD’S PRECIOUS GEMS: There is a way to behave as a Godly single woman. Trust me, running from this or ignoring Godly principles will certainly cause more pain and heartache than you can ever imagine.

My dear single sister, remember you are a precious gem. Embrace your single season as a special time and utilize the gifts and talents you have been given. You are whole just as you are. Make use of your time nurturing your relationship with the Lord and make your Holy Appointment a priority. Please remember to protect your heart and your treasures!

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Daily Action Step
Say to yourself out loud
I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM

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FRIENDLY REMINDER: Take out your journal and write down your thoughts, takeaways, and progress for this week!

TAKEAWAY GEMS

  • You have value with or without a man.
  • Being single is a gift from God.
  • Don’t make loneliness and self-pity a lifestyle.
  • Live out your vision and purpose.
  • You are 100% whole as a single woman.
  • Remember YOU ARE WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE
  • Protect your heart.
  • Develop a close relationship with the Lord.
  • Protect the holy sacred marriage bed, protect your treasures which will also protect your heart.

QUESTIONS TO “THINK ON”

  1. What are the wrong reasons you sometimes may seek out a man’s company?
  2. What are some wise choices you can make when you are lonely?
  3. What are some ways you can protect your heart and treasures?

ACTION STEP- SINGLE WOMEN’S PRAYER: Have a heart-to-heart discussion with the Lord asking Him to show you Scriptures and instill in your heart what Godly principles you should follow as a solo woman.

DAILY SCRIPTURES

DAY 1: His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. [1 Corinthians 7:34b-35]

DAY 2: But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. [1 Corinthians 7:9] 

DAY 3: Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. [1 Corinthians 7:17] 

DAY 4: Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. [Colossians 3:12] 

DAY 5:  But He said to them, not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom the capacity to receive it has been given. For there are eunuchs who have been born that way from their mother’s womb making them incapable of consummating a marriage; and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men for royal service; and there are eunuchs who have made themselves so for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it. [Matthew 19:11-12 AMP]

DAY 6: Haven’t you read the Scriptures? Jesus replied. They record that from the beginning God made them male and female. And he said, This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [Matthew 19:4-5]

DAY 7: And so, dear [brothers and] sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. [Romans 12:1].

 

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