Words Can Hurt or Words Can Heal
SCRIPTURE Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. [Proverbs 12:18]
QUOTE: Words can be medicines; they can also be poisons. Words can heal; they can also kill. It all depends on how, when and where they are use and against whom (Israelmore Ayivor)
Angel (my doggie) was one of the greatest joys in my life. As a single woman, I felt like she was like my daughter. I know to some of you that may sound strange and possibly even shallow. But for me, she was someone I cared for daily and spent most of my time with. She went everywhere with me, on hikes, bike rides, skiing, basically anywhere I went, Angel was with me. She was trained as a search and rescue dog in water and wilderness, and her specialty was avalanche rescue. This intensive training added even more time we spent together and an unbreakable bond.
I was at the Frisco (Colorado) animal shelter looking at puppies with the guy I was currently seeing at the time. We were taken outside because there were puppies hiding underneath a storage building and the staff thought these two would be perfect for us.
I got down on my hands and knees and looked under the tiny space between the ground and the building. Looking back at me were the cutest black eyes I’ve ever seen. The other puppy that was brown and black came out and played with us, and oh my goodness what a precious little thing he was!! The other one (with those penetrating black eyes) stayed under the building the entire time we were there, just watching. We went back to the shelter four times to visit and the same thing happened every time, but I could see her little head going back and forth as she watched us. The fifth time back we decided that we were going to take the puppies. We went outside and sat down on the ground and this time both puppies came out. Even the little one with the black eyes came and jumped directly into my lap. I immediately said, “this one is mine”! I was hugging the cutest all black little furball I’ve ever seen.
These puppies were dumped on top of Baldy Mountain (in Summit County) and a group of hikers had rescued them and brought them to the shelter.
So when we got them, they were a little sick and under nourished. For several weeks I bottle-fed Angel and nursed her back to health. Once she was a healthy puppy, she was ready to be introduced to her new life. Her first adventure was skiing Mt. Evans in my backpack! After we had skied halfway down, I took her out of my pack, and she ran down behind us; she was yelping and squeaking the entire way down with that little tail wagging like crazy. This started our wonderful twenty-year journey together; tears are streaming down my face as I recall that amazing day. (jeepers I’ve had lots of tears in this book).
I share this story because only God knows people’s hearts. We as people with our pea-size brains don’t always know or understand one another. We don’t necessarily see clearly what gives people joy, happiness, or a purpose, or why they make the decisions they make, or what their deepest cause of pain or sorrow may be, or even what may cause someone to take their life instead of creating life.
Angel was a huge part of my life and when I lost her after twenty years, it was very devastating for me. This also was only the beginning of losses that spiraled out of control, to that point of losing everything that I worked for my entire life. My decision-making process was not in alignment with what I believed, and I made choices that I typically would not have made. This pain was multiplied tenfold because all the grief and loss of my life (that was stuffed down) came to the forefront with the loss of Angel. These emotions became so overwhelming that I changed (not in a good way). I also allowed myself to get into situations that were not healthy and for sure not where God wanted me to be. It’s amazing to me the words people say when they think they know how you should run your life better than you or even God.
I’ve been talking mostly about the way you speak to yourself throughout this book. But I also want to make a point that the words you speak to others can give life or suck the life out of them also. We don’t know what someone may be going through when we encounter them. Something we say may be hurtful at the wrong moment and at times can destroy them or even the entire relationship. Look at marriages that end because of the words that are spoken to one another or look at families that are divided because of unspoken words or harsh words that are spoken (this too could be a forever chapter).
The words we speak to ourselves can be just as devastating as what we speak to someone else. As this week’s main Scripture says, our words can cut deep like swords and they sometimes can cause more harm and damage than a physical sword can. Some of the words spoken to me during the loss of Angel, then my subsequent losses, and through the continuous biscuit flying season were like swords, adding injury to the already obvious pain I was in. So bottom line for this week, is be mindful and thoughtful of the words we speak to not only yourself, but also to others.
WORDS CAN HURT OR WORDS CAN HEAL: This Stellar Thinking is truly a lifelong journey. We will not always speak words that are healing, and those hurtful words sometimes slip out. The truth is we will never perfect in our thoughts or words while here on this earth. In fact, James 3:8 says that we as humans cannot tame our tongues, it is restless evil, and full of deadly poison.
Bottom line is, if we don’t give full control of our thoughts and mind to the Lord, we won’t be able to have Steller Thinking or believe that we are who God says we are. We will always continue to hurt not only ourselves and but also hurt others with our words.
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DAILY ACTION STEP
Say to yourself out loud
I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM
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FRIENDLY REMINDER: Take out your journal and write down your thoughts, takeaways, and progress for this week!
TAKEAWAY GEMS
- Allow God to show us the words to speak.
- We cannot control our thoughts or words without the Lord’s help.
- Words can be healing, or words can be hurtful.
- We do not always know what people are going through; be careful the words that we speak.
- Words can pierce like a sword into one’s heart.
QUESTIONS TO “THINK ON”
- What is your plan on speaking healing words or controlling your thoughts?
- On a scale of one to ten, ten being completely there, where are on the scale are you with healing words? (this includes words to others and to yourself).
- Have there been words you have spoken that were like swords to yourself or others? If so, what were those words?
ACTION STEP FORGIVENESS: If you know of someone that you may have spoken unkind or harsh words to (including yourself), take time this week to reach out to them and ask them to forgive you for the words that you spoke. Sometimes, we don’t even know we have said something that was harmful, so ask the Lord to reveal to you any harmful words that you are unaware of.
DAILY SCRIPTURES
DAY #1: Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. [1 Peter 3:15-16]
DAY #2: Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. [Colossians 4:5]
DAY #3: but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison [James 3:8]
DAY #4: Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. [Proverbs 10:19]
DAY #5: Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you [Proverbs 11:17]
DAY #6: Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. [Proverbs 12:18]
DAY #7: A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare [Proverbs 15:1]